


make it all slow down

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Depression, Fluff, Headaches, Hurt/Comfort, Larry One-Shot, M/M, One-Shot, cutting (only mentioned), larry fluff, self harm (only mentioned)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-24
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-10 20:40:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28273248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Harry gets sad. Louis is there to stay.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 3
Kudos: 40





	make it all slow down

**Author's Note:**

> Hello lovelies. I wrote this to let some feelings out. I'm sorry if it's bad. 
> 
> I've been going through a hard time, and I mostly wrote this for myself. Figured I'd post it though. Hope you enjoy.
> 
> All the love, always,  
> Lizzy xoxo
> 
> \- Also, Happy Birthday Louis! 
> 
> Title is from 'Waves' by Chloe Moriondo

It _hurts._ There are thousands of thoughts and racing feelings that never disappear and they pound against his skull to the point where every movement he makes is terribly painful. 

Louis always worries. How could he not? His favorite person in the whole world is constantly in pain and there’s nothing he can do about it. 

He often finds Harry on the floor of their bathroom, crying and clutching his head in his hands. His wrists are bleeding, and he’s begging for Louis to make it all go away. 

Harry gets headaches, but Louis isn’t sure if that’s what a psychiatrist would call them. Harry describes it as _loud._ And suddenly nothing makes sense and Harry’s crying for the pain to go away. 

It’s always there, though. It’s like an itch you can’t scratch away. It’s like the pain creeps up so slowly, and then it comes crashing down on you.

Louis doesn’t understand it, doesn’t know why these things happen to Harry. His beautiful, selfless, loving, gentle Harry.

“Harry,” Louis whispers one night.

“Lou?”

“Tell me what I can do.”

They were nestled on their shared couch, wrapped up in a large blanket. Usually they’re in bed by now, but Harry couldn’t move this time. Sometimes, somedays, he couldn’t move. 

“Hold me?” he asked.

“Of course, my love.”

And he wrapped Harry up in his arms and decided he would never let him go. Not ever.

“I’m sorry.”

“Don’t ever apologize to me, Harry.”

“All you ever do is take care of me. I wish I could take care of you.”

“You do, Hazza. Every day.”

Every touch, every kiss, every small gesture. When Harry makes supper and he leaves an ingredient out because he knows Louis doesn’t like it. When Harry leaves the telly on at night because Louis is scared of silence. When Harry holds his hand when they’re walking down the street, when they’re making love, or when they’re dancing. When Harry looks at him with a comforting smile because he knows Louis would rather be home by now. When Harry whispers quiet nothings to him every time they hug. Louis feels so loved by him, so taken care of. 

“No-no I don’t. I-I can’t do anything. I can’t. I- You deserve better than me Lou,” Harry was crying now, looking up at Louis where they laid on the sofa. 

“Harry,” Louis looked back, speaking sternly but softly. “You’re everything to me, you know that? Everything you do for me, fuck, it makes me feel so loved. So special, important. You’re so special to me. Stop that. I mean it. You make me so happy.”

“I-I’m sorry,” Harry cried. “I wish I could be happier for you.”

“Your sadness is human, Harry. You’re so loving to everybody else on this planet and you leave none of it for yourself. You’re beautiful, Hazza, everything about you. And I wish you could see that.”

“Even my sadness?”

“Especially your sadness,” Louis smiled at Harry, caressing his hair and moving it away from his face. “It’s okay to be sad, Harry. It’s okay to feel helpless. But you have to remember that I’m always here. I’m always right here.”

Louis kissed his nose. 

Harry kissed his lips. 

“It hurts,” Harry whispered. 

“I know,” Louis whispered back, softly peppering kisses all over Harry’s face. “I wish I could make it all go away, Harry.”

“You do, every day,” Harry said with a shaky voice. His eyes looked pleading, like he was searching for something in Louis’ face. 

“Not permanently.”

“No, but it’s so much better than if I didn’t have you at all.”

Louis looked into Harry’s eyes, taking his hand in his, and holding it tight. “You’re strong, you know that? You’re stronger than you give yourself credit for. I’m so fucking glad I can help you, Harry, but one day you’re not going to hurt anymore. And that’s because _you’re strong._ ” 

Harry’s eyes glistened with tears that threatened to fall. But they didn’t. And instead, Harry smiled. 

Harry kissed him. And for a moment, he felt like he could breathe again. He felt like he could move again. And the screaming in his mind was a bit quieter. The throbbing at his skull was just a bit duller. And for that moment, he felt like he could believe Louis. Maybe everything would be okay, someday. Maybe one day, it wouldn’t hurt anymore.


End file.
